Oh! Hey, apology accepted. I know you were trying to help.
[A pause, then:]
I heard you talking about food, on the crystals. It's really cool that you don't understand me being a vegetarian but you respect it anyway. You know? Not everyone does that. Respect things even if they don't understand them.
[It's an offering, tentative but sincere. Cosima doesn't know that she understands much about Helena, yet, but it's increasingly easier to think of her as a sister and not the threat she'd once been.]
People get really self-righteous about food choices, sometimes. Here and at home. It's a shitty thing to do, but sometimes people need to feel like their way is the only way, you know? Honestly, I'm grateful the Inquisition makes sure we get fed even before we join up. I don't think I'd have done very well fending for myself.
I try not to. I mean, no one's perfect but... I think I'd rather save my anger for people who do really bad shit, you know? Those people are out there. But most people are just doing the best they can, and it's up to them to decide things like what they want to eat. If someone asks me why I make the choices I do, I'm happy to give an honest answer, but I'm not in charge of what other people put in their bodies. Or on their bodies. Or what they like to read or what kind of religion they follow. You know?
( Helena falls into silence. It would not be impossible to think she has just disappeared, ended the call, if not for the occasional sounds of her hands on the crystal.
Her voice is rough. )
Sestra Cosima—
You are first person I know to think in this way. Tomas and... Proletheans. But the science shepherds, also.
I didn't know them and you did, so I can't say I know better than you. But I think all of us deserve the right to decide what kind of life we want to live. Our choices have consequences, but we should still be free to make them.
[Not many people experience Cosima angry, so people who know her better might have a harder time pinning down the exact reason she takes a long pause. Her voice is very even when she speaks again.]
Helena, you know that's not OK, right? Forcing someone to get married if they don't want to.
JUST IN CASE but cw for vaguely mentioned non-consensual medical procedudes
It seems like all kinds of people back home thought they could take things from us without our consent.
[Proletheans, DYAD, whoever else. Sarah has mentioned how much Cosima doesn't know, and she believes it.]
People here know different kinds of healing than we do at home, but some of them are friends. If you ever want me to take you to someone I trust, to see if they can tell what happened, just let me know.
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crystal.
( slow; uncomfortable, perhaps. )
I— wished to be apologising. For frightening.
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[A pause, then:]
I heard you talking about food, on the crystals. It's really cool that you don't understand me being a vegetarian but you respect it anyway. You know? Not everyone does that. Respect things even if they don't understand them.
[It's an offering, tentative but sincere. Cosima doesn't know that she understands much about Helena, yet, but it's increasingly easier to think of her as a sister and not the threat she'd once been.]
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( Oh, that’s nice. Strange but nice. She scratches her cheek, pensive, and decided to forge on with honesty. )
A boy told me I was terrible person for being willing to eat dragon. I was less understanding, for him.
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( She is quiet a while. ) You do not seeming to do this. Why?
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Her voice is rough. )
Sestra Cosima—
You are first person I know to think in this way. Tomas and... Proletheans. But the science shepherds, also.
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[Cosima isn't sure how to be comforting over a crystal, but it's still her first impulse.]
I'm so sorry. I don't know a lot about the Proletheans, really, but I know they were seriously bad news.
[Are, she supposes, but they're not here.]
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They were not all bad.
( They super were. )
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Can I tell you something, Cosima? About when I was on their farm?
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It was... Johanssen was having many wives.
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[Not many people experience Cosima angry, so people who know her better might have a harder time pinning down the exact reason she takes a long pause. Her voice is very even when she speaks again.]
Helena, you know that's not OK, right? Forcing someone to get married if they don't want to.
JUST IN CASE but cw for vaguely mentioned non-consensual medical procedudes
( Her pause is one of trying to school her voice, gather the words, understand her own feelings. )
I am torn between these purposes. They hollowed out inside me, I think. Took the pieces, but I could not... stop this.
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[Proletheans, DYAD, whoever else. Sarah has mentioned how much Cosima doesn't know, and she believes it.]
People here know different kinds of healing than we do at home, but some of them are friends. If you ever want me to take you to someone I trust, to see if they can tell what happened, just let me know.
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The magics?
( It is not dissimilar to a small child asking if they are going to be made to go to the dentist. )
Maybes.
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