( She rests her hands on the desk, careful not to rest them on the work, and leans forward to almost kiss Cosima, but stops short. )
What I've in mind for discussion might demand a longer distraction from your work than a pause. ( She smiles, and gently traces the line of Cosima's jaw. ) I've no desire to sabotage your efforts, if you need to see this done, first.
[Cosima leans up to close the distance between them.] I think this particular report can wait an hour or two if something more important's on your mind.
I have several things on my mind. ( Murmured, as she steals another kiss, and then leans back very slightly, hand trailing to rest at Cosima's collarbone. She would love to be entirely distracted by Cosima and more tempting diversions, however. Focus, Herian. Practice control, for once. )
But that which I think most pressing to discuss is the matter of your sisters, if you are willing.
( Oh, poorly done, Herian. She winces at herself a little, and clenches her jaw in an expression of frustration at herself as she takes a step backwards, one arm holding the opposite arm. )
My apologies. I am... still more inelegant than usual with my conversation. No thanks are necessary, I promise you, and you owe me no explanations, I simply— I don’t think I fully grasped the complexity of matters until I beheld them. I do not think I do so, now.
( Even in her grimmer moods Cosima can coax smiles from her. With the kiss pressed to her wrist, she tilts her hand to cup Cosima’s jaw, eager to maintain contact, and takes a small step closer. )
You’re all so different. ( A slight smile. ) I think you might have won all the charm that might have been divided between you, though.
Edited (when u notice a typo hours later sorrry sorry sorry) 2018-04-17 10:07 (UTC)
Okay, first, you're biased. But second... from what I know, I also got dealt a really good hand by comparison. Comfortable circumstances, two parents who loved me and each other, stable childhood. Like, it wasn't perfect but I really was lucky.
...I think that was part of the experiment, you know? We all started out identical, or close to it, but we were sent to different countries, different guardians, all isolated from each other. Probably to see, in part, how different we'd turn out.
I think you know me a lot better than you know Sarah. You may know me better than I know Sarah, in some ways. I know I'm a worthwhile person, that's not what I'm saying, but I also know I'm more confident and more stable because I had a lot of advantages growing up. I mean, I think a lot of people in my position are probably self-aware enough to know that, but most of them don't get to see multiple genetic identicals who grew up in different places, with different families.
( Drawing closer as Cosima leans into her head, Herian pressing a light kiss to Cosima's temple, before resting their foreheads together. )
Not all are capable of self-awareness. One would hope they might be, that they could comprehend what differences circumstance and particular advantages might make, but not all do. They simply wonder why others cannot achieve what they have achieved, and deduce that it comes... something lacking. The lack of hard work, the lack of ambition or some matter of moral fibre. I think you underestimate yourself, in this. You do your sisters credit.
( Though she does exhale a faintly amused breath, ) Though I am biased in your favour. I have had the advantage of knowing you a while.
Oh, uh. Hopefully that wasn't supposed to be classified information or anything, but.
[Cosima considers, then says,]
I don't know the details. But Sarah says Helena's been through a lot of shit, back from our world. She's not great at trust, I think. And arriving the way rifters do is kind of, uh, traumatic.
I doubt it. There was a great deal to be seen to in the Sunless Lands - I must confess I spoke with the Commander largely concerning orders, and little more.
( Gently, Herian squeezes Cosima's hand. )
If you say she is not a cause for concern beyond that, I trust you. Especially being left in the Sunless Lands to survive on their own so long, I... cannot imagine what that might have felt like, especially to one who has faced struggles.
( It's not trust lightly given, but one of Cosima's sisters, her family, deserves some shred of Herian's loyalty. )
Sarah doesn't trust people easily. [Sarah is often paranoid in Cosima's opinion, but on the other hand, Dyad really is out to get them?] If she trusts Helena, then Helena's done enough to earn it. I mean, I understand that the Inquisition's not going to just take Sarah's word for it indefinitely, but I can't imagine she's the only rifter who's ever gotten violently defensive in this situation.
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What I've in mind for discussion might demand a longer distraction from your work than a pause. ( She smiles, and gently traces the line of Cosima's jaw. ) I've no desire to sabotage your efforts, if you need to see this done, first.
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But that which I think most pressing to discuss is the matter of your sisters, if you are willing.
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[Cosima's not averse, exactly, but that's not a kissing topic.]
We didn't talk much about it when you first got back, I guess. Though thanks again, for keeping an eye on Sarah. Both of them.
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My apologies. I am... still more inelegant than usual with my conversation. No thanks are necessary, I promise you, and you owe me no explanations, I simply— I don’t think I fully grasped the complexity of matters until I beheld them. I do not think I do so, now.
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[She pulls Herian's arm closer so she can kiss inside her wrist.]
I just wasn't on the same page. It's, uh. Yeah, it's pretty wild. I'd never met Helena before, but I knew Sarah from home. Let's talk about it.
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You’re all so different. ( A slight smile. ) I think you might have won all the charm that might have been divided between you, though.
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...I think that was part of the experiment, you know? We all started out identical, or close to it, but we were sent to different countries, different guardians, all isolated from each other. Probably to see, in part, how different we'd turn out.
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Do you imagine yourself less worthy of praise?
( Just faintly puzzled, as her thumb continued to run back and forth against Cosima’s jaw. )
And being biased does not make me wrong.
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[She leans into Herian's hand, a bit.]
It's a really concrete, external what if.
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Not all are capable of self-awareness. One would hope they might be, that they could comprehend what differences circumstance and particular advantages might make, but not all do. They simply wonder why others cannot achieve what they have achieved, and deduce that it comes... something lacking. The lack of hard work, the lack of ambition or some matter of moral fibre. I think you underestimate yourself, in this. You do your sisters credit.
( Though she does exhale a faintly amused breath, ) Though I am biased in your favour. I have had the advantage of knowing you a while.
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[After a moment:]
I heard Helena stabbed Ser Coupe in the leg before you guys got back to Kirkwall. So your point about people skills isn't entirely off-base, maybe.
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It was your sister who did that?
( W.... hat....
She is surprised, to say the least. ) I wonder what the Commander did to inspire the attack.
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[Cosima considers, then says,]
I don't know the details. But Sarah says Helena's been through a lot of shit, back from our world. She's not great at trust, I think. And arriving the way rifters do is kind of, uh, traumatic.
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( Gently, Herian squeezes Cosima's hand. )
If you say she is not a cause for concern beyond that, I trust you. Especially being left in the Sunless Lands to survive on their own so long, I... cannot imagine what that might have felt like, especially to one who has faced struggles.
( It's not trust lightly given, but one of Cosima's sisters, her family, deserves some shred of Herian's loyalty. )
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Aye. You're certainly one to be careful of, I think.
( A gentle nudge of Cosima's hip. )
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