Ironically, same reason as mine: Didn't want to set an example. Tried to talk her out of that, but I wasn't willing to blow up her spot among more than the div heads and short of an order she wasn't listening. Not that it mattered in the end, I don't know that anyone bought that it was an accident, especially. I should have ... well. If wishes were horses, as we said back home.
She sounds strangely intent on discarding an arm for someone who hasn't been here very long. [ compared to, say, the folks with years' long relationships at risk. ]
Yeah. I don't know her well enough to be sure whether it's a particular terror of vanishing separate from dying some other way, or a misguided way to show commitment to Riftwatch. Or maybe a third thing, always possible, but those are my two best guesses.
Before it happened, she wouldn't have been my bet.
Fuck, yeah, she was totally who I was going to put my money on. Guess no one would take the bet.
It is a little sobering to essentially be told something that's happened to me personally is a fate worse than death, but I don't know, maybe I just need two girlfriends who are taller than me to pose dramatically with.
Yeah, I plan to. I am in something of a limited club, having that experience.
I should probably think of something a bit more diplomatic than "I didn't believe in an afterlife for my individual consciousness to begin with, so oblivion was always my expectation," though. Not quite rallying the troops material.
[Her smile lingers, genuine at that laugh but fading to something a bit more abstracted with the question.]
For me it was like ... I went to bed here, the way I always did. And then I was coming through a rift again with about a year's worth of new memories from home. There was no. [She pauses to think.] When you're asleep, you sort of have a sense in your body that time has passed, right? Even if you don't remember any dreams, it feels like you were out for some amount of time, even if you don't instantly know how much.
It wasn't like that. It felt subjectively like I'd jumped forward in time, just abruptly. Really disorienting, though I imagine maybe worse if I didn't have any new home memories. It was weird enough the mismatch of like ... it felt like a year of life where I'm from, but it was longer than that here, that I was gone. But even then, it was and wasn't like all that happened to me, since I suddenly got my Thedas memories back too.
[Granitefell is its own set of complications, but it's not a comparison without some merit.]
I know it freaks out some of the other rifters when I talk about it, but I think the whole experience really solidified my feelings that I'm a different person than the Cosima back on Earth whose memories I have. She doesn't remember being to Thedas because she never has been. I ... remember her not remembering, if that makes sense.
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Before it happened, she wouldn't have been my bet.
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Fuck, yeah, she was totally who I was going to put my money on. Guess no one would take the bet.
It is a little sobering to essentially be told something that's happened to me personally is a fate worse than death, but I don't know, maybe I just need two girlfriends who are taller than me to pose dramatically with.
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I imagine that would change anyone's outlook on existence. [ is dry again, before her tone returns to seriousness. ]
You might include that in your statement. It could help to remind people you had that experience.
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I should probably think of something a bit more diplomatic than "I didn't believe in an afterlife for my individual consciousness to begin with, so oblivion was always my expectation," though. Not quite rallying the troops material.
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No, not quite. But they've never seemed a very religious group anyway.
What is it like, to vanish and then return?
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For me it was like ... I went to bed here, the way I always did. And then I was coming through a rift again with about a year's worth of new memories from home. There was no. [She pauses to think.] When you're asleep, you sort of have a sense in your body that time has passed, right? Even if you don't remember any dreams, it feels like you were out for some amount of time, even if you don't instantly know how much.
It wasn't like that. It felt subjectively like I'd jumped forward in time, just abruptly. Really disorienting, though I imagine maybe worse if I didn't have any new home memories. It was weird enough the mismatch of like ... it felt like a year of life where I'm from, but it was longer than that here, that I was gone. But even then, it was and wasn't like all that happened to me, since I suddenly got my Thedas memories back too.
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The new memories sound a bit like after Granitefell. The memories that came after they changed things. They've never felt as real.
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[Granitefell is its own set of complications, but it's not a comparison without some merit.]
I know it freaks out some of the other rifters when I talk about it, but I think the whole experience really solidified my feelings that I'm a different person than the Cosima back on Earth whose memories I have. She doesn't remember being to Thedas because she never has been. I ... remember her not remembering, if that makes sense.