[The mention of talking to animals sparks some interest, but whatever idea it inspires, Cosima opts to save it for later.]
Well, since magebane isn't an unlimited resource, it would make sense to test that while you're awake and in control. If it doesn't, we may as well give you a placebo. [She makes a small note.]
Besides that, did Captain Rowntree suggest anything specific, or just Research is the place to talk to about a cure? Nothing wrong with the latter, but like ... I'm not a doctor myself, certainly not of the mind. It might be a complex process. A long one.
[Tav sets the sprout on his knee and nods. As much as he’d rather not test the limits of a poison meant to keep him from his magic, he needs to do this while awake.]
Of course.
[He sucks in a breath.]
He said research to find a cure, if one can be found. No matter how long. That’s how this happened.
[He gestures up to the milky white of his left eye.] Among other things.
[She nods, not without some sympathy, as he indicates the eye.]
I can't promise results, but I can promise we'll try. Doctor Strange is our head healer, so I'll want to coordinate with him before we start talking about any kind of plan. [She's aware that he's not a psychiatrist either, but at least he has a working knowledge of neurology.] I'll get back to you once I've spoken to him, and I'll do that soon.
Besides the magebane, what other precautions are you taking in the meantime?
Alright. I trust Captain Rowntree with the arrangements but ... have you spoken to the people in rooms near yours? They may want to take some precautions of their own in the meantime.
OK, well, I don't recommend scaring people, no, so if you need some help with how to frame it, I can give you some suggestions or even hook you up with someone in Diplomacy. But people who live in the Gallows, especially those nearest wherever you're staying, deserve to know there's a danger and what's being done about it. You're going to lose a lot of goodwill, and rightly so, if they find out in a way that's not you proactively telling them or making it clear that you gave permission for someone else to spread the word. It's not a perfect analogy but, man, if someone moved a wolf that wasn't domesticated into the room next to mine, that's not something I'd want to be an unpleasant surprise.
Like, I do agree this is not a thing to be spreading outside the organization. But it's a small place and the rumor mill is healthy. It's the right thing to do to get in front of it, but it's also the smart thing to do.
[Tav listens to Cosima with concern written clearly across his face. It’s all this diplomacy stuff that made him such a terrible leader back home. He’d say the wrong thing and then they’d have a cadre of githyanki or vampires or demons on top of them. He never got good at this and then he learned he was born to kill things, that all of these urges were because he was the son of the god of murder.
He lets his hands hang between his knees.] I agree. I agree that anyone around me should know that I’m a monster.
[Wolf, monster, same thing.]
I don’t know what to tell them without telling the whole story.
[She sighs quietly.] Of course you feel strongly about it. I think anyone would. But you don't need to ... you don't have to add the value judgment about it, you know? Like... what people need to know is not that you think you're a monster. What they need to know is that you can become involuntarily dangerous at night, so you're not going on missions that will take you out of the Gallows overnight, you're getting locked in, and you're looking for a permanent solution but that no one knows how long that will take.
And I can't tell you no one's going to have a feeling about that. But you're not trying to manage their feelings. What you're doing is giving them information so they can take extra steps to protect themselves if they want to. Or at a minimum, they'll know not try to welcome you to the organization with a late night of drinking in Kirkwall or anything, or think you're a jerk if you say no to that.
I can talk to the other Division Heads, though. If you really think you'd do it badly, we can put together some sort of statement and take care of spreading it to our respective staffs.
[Tav looks at the floor as Cosima talks, absorbing every word she says. It all makes sense, but he still has no idea how to frame a very precarious issue as something they are getting a better handle on.]
I’m not known for my diplomatic words, unfortunately. I can try, but I might make a bigger mess of things.
OK, well. Think about it, if you need to. I think having the Division Heads tell people proactively is still probably better than letting it get out in fits and starts.
[Enough people already know that keeping it secret indefinitely won't fly, though Cosima doesn't spell that out.]
I wish I could tell you "oh yeah, that's definitely a thing we know how to fix," for what it's worth. But we really will do our best.
Do. And I'll keep you posted, after I consult with Strange. [Who, inevitably, will also need to know.] And ... I'm sorry you're dealing with this. It's a rough hand to get dealt.
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Well, since magebane isn't an unlimited resource, it would make sense to test that while you're awake and in control. If it doesn't, we may as well give you a placebo. [She makes a small note.]
Besides that, did Captain Rowntree suggest anything specific, or just Research is the place to talk to about a cure? Nothing wrong with the latter, but like ... I'm not a doctor myself, certainly not of the mind. It might be a complex process. A long one.
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Of course.
[He sucks in a breath.]
He said research to find a cure, if one can be found. No matter how long. That’s how this happened.
[He gestures up to the milky white of his left eye.] Among other things.
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I can't promise results, but I can promise we'll try. Doctor Strange is our head healer, so I'll want to coordinate with him before we start talking about any kind of plan. [She's aware that he's not a psychiatrist either, but at least he has a working knowledge of neurology.] I'll get back to you once I've spoken to him, and I'll do that soon.
Besides the magebane, what other precautions are you taking in the meantime?
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[Tav pauses to remember his schedule.]
I am to be back at the gallows every evening at least two hours before sunset so I can be locked in.
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[Tav hangs his head; not his proudest moment by far.]
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Like, I do agree this is not a thing to be spreading outside the organization. But it's a small place and the rumor mill is healthy. It's the right thing to do to get in front of it, but it's also the smart thing to do.
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He lets his hands hang between his knees.] I agree. I agree that anyone around me should know that I’m a monster.
[Wolf, monster, same thing.]
I don’t know what to tell them without telling the whole story.
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And I can't tell you no one's going to have a feeling about that. But you're not trying to manage their feelings. What you're doing is giving them information so they can take extra steps to protect themselves if they want to. Or at a minimum, they'll know not try to welcome you to the organization with a late night of drinking in Kirkwall or anything, or think you're a jerk if you say no to that.
I can talk to the other Division Heads, though. If you really think you'd do it badly, we can put together some sort of statement and take care of spreading it to our respective staffs.
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I’m not known for my diplomatic words, unfortunately. I can try, but I might make a bigger mess of things.
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[Enough people already know that keeping it secret indefinitely won't fly, though Cosima doesn't spell that out.]
I wish I could tell you "oh yeah, that's definitely a thing we know how to fix," for what it's worth. But we really will do our best.
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[Despite trying to keep his 'condition' secret, more and more people are finding out.]
Thank you. I truly appreciate it. If I remember anything, I'll alert you.
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[He offers one last wave on the way out.]