And Stephen—
frankly coughs upon hearing that name, spluttering on his wine, “Loki? As your personal assistant?“ and he has a moment to ponder that extremely funny mental image and try not to choke to death on the wine while Cosima finishes contextualising and rationalising the choice. He’s calmed down a little by the time she finishes ticking through the reasons.
“I feel like I oughtn’t blab his business, but as Division Head you should probably know these things, and in the end I’m in favour of everyone being able to make informed choices— I always prefer knowing too much rather than too little— anyway.” He takes another (more careful) sip of the wine, fortifying for the batshit details he’s about to drop on Cosima.
“Once upon a time, Loki collaborated with alien warlords to try to conquer Earth. He launched a full-scale alien invasion of NYC. Tony and his fellow costumed superheroes helped repel them, shut down the attempt, and had him captured as a war criminal. So it was personal for Tony, and I understand the wariness. But for me, it was— a very bad thing happened to New York and ostensibly Loki was behind it, but I was still a surgeon at the time, distant from the direct conflict. I never fought him. The first time I ever met Loki face-to-face, I was helping him and his brother when they came to the Sanctum searching for their father. I’ve spoken to this Loki here, and he and I are fine.
“As far as I understand it, the version I knew eventually turned over a new leaf, even back home. Did the right thing. Turned against the warlord. And there are versions of me in other universes that have done dreadful, calamitous, world-ending things, so I figure… don’t throw stones in glass universes, etc. Who the hell am I to judge. So this is my very long roundabout way of saying that a demi-god reduced to taking minutes and filing your paperwork is really deeply funny, but if he’s interested in the task, then I don’t mind the choice. He’s fine, in my opinion, unless he starts displaying any megalomaniacal tendencies; in which case, keep an eye on that.”
frankly coughs upon hearing that name, spluttering on his wine, “Loki? As your personal assistant?“ and he has a moment to ponder that extremely funny mental image and try not to choke to death on the wine while Cosima finishes contextualising and rationalising the choice. He’s calmed down a little by the time she finishes ticking through the reasons.
“I feel like I oughtn’t blab his business, but as Division Head you should probably know these things, and in the end I’m in favour of everyone being able to make informed choices— I always prefer knowing too much rather than too little— anyway.” He takes another (more careful) sip of the wine, fortifying for the batshit details he’s about to drop on Cosima.
“Once upon a time, Loki collaborated with alien warlords to try to conquer Earth. He launched a full-scale alien invasion of NYC. Tony and his fellow costumed superheroes helped repel them, shut down the attempt, and had him captured as a war criminal. So it was personal for Tony, and I understand the wariness. But for me, it was— a very bad thing happened to New York and ostensibly Loki was behind it, but I was still a surgeon at the time, distant from the direct conflict. I never fought him. The first time I ever met Loki face-to-face, I was helping him and his brother when they came to the Sanctum searching for their father. I’ve spoken to this Loki here, and he and I are fine.
“As far as I understand it, the version I knew eventually turned over a new leaf, even back home. Did the right thing. Turned against the warlord. And there are versions of me in other universes that have done dreadful, calamitous, world-ending things, so I figure… don’t throw stones in glass universes, etc. Who the hell am I to judge. So this is my very long roundabout way of saying that a demi-god reduced to taking minutes and filing your paperwork is really deeply funny, but if he’s interested in the task, then I don’t mind the choice. He’s fine, in my opinion, unless he starts displaying any megalomaniacal tendencies; in which case, keep an eye on that.”
( there's a sharp rap against the doorframe of cosima's office, which is not accompanied by any inclination to wait for an answer— gwenaëlle follows the gesture through the door, difficult to read in a way that she rarely is.
maybe it's just not easy to decide how she feels about it, either, )
Some cult forcibly performed the rite of Tranquility on Amsel and sent her back to Kirkwall. They seem to have burned all the basic common sense out of her while they were at it, so she's in the infirmary.
( she hasn't come all the way in. she hasn't sat down. she hasn't —
there wasn't going to be any easy way to say these things. it wasn't going to be a fun conversation. she doesn't know how to do it except like this. )
She called them the knights of the sun. I assume we'll need to find out more information. Also,
( an afterthought, )
it nearly kicked off in the alienage where she'd gone first, but if anyone complains, Carsus stood there and took it while some senile or drunk imbecile had a go at him for trying to make sure Herian got the care they were, as far as I can tell, actively denying her because I can think of no reason she should have been there for longer than thirty minutes and be in the state we found her, and he should be commended for his diplomatic handling of the situation. I would have handled it differently.
( she took her hate crime guy in case she had to do one. )
maybe it's just not easy to decide how she feels about it, either, )
Some cult forcibly performed the rite of Tranquility on Amsel and sent her back to Kirkwall. They seem to have burned all the basic common sense out of her while they were at it, so she's in the infirmary.
( she hasn't come all the way in. she hasn't sat down. she hasn't —
there wasn't going to be any easy way to say these things. it wasn't going to be a fun conversation. she doesn't know how to do it except like this. )
She called them the knights of the sun. I assume we'll need to find out more information. Also,
( an afterthought, )
it nearly kicked off in the alienage where she'd gone first, but if anyone complains, Carsus stood there and took it while some senile or drunk imbecile had a go at him for trying to make sure Herian got the care they were, as far as I can tell, actively denying her because I can think of no reason she should have been there for longer than thirty minutes and be in the state we found her, and he should be commended for his diplomatic handling of the situation. I would have handled it differently.
( she took her hate crime guy in case she had to do one. )
Stephen arches an eyebrow, and there’s a warm amusement in his voice: “You wouldn’t be the first to sell out for a paycheck, so I don’t blame you. And I feel like Riftwatch’s M.O. is we need to make use of anyone we can, anyway, in whatever capacity we can. Even if they are very pointy demi-gods.”
He’s been making himself more comfortable: drinking that wine, settling back in his chair, posture ebbing into less stiff lines. He’d come here with the very specific intent to make Cosima put down the paperwork for once, but as so often happens, he keeps drifting to conversations which aren’t work talk but are also not not work talk. And the wine’s loosened just enough that that pings a previous thought against another, now reminded of the modern corporate trappings that only these two are familiar with. Cosima is technically his boss. He did have a question, a little while back.
“Hey, uh,” Stephen says, thoughtful, ruminative. “So. I don’t really know how this works here. Hypothetically, I mean, considering how small Riftwatch is, and— is there a—”
What is he even trying to say. He takes another swig of the wine.
“Potential conflicts of interest. Conflict of interest disclosures to our division head. For, I don’t know. Relationships? So we don’t fuck up anything on a mission? Is that a thing here. Do people need to do that.”
Is this anything.
He’s been making himself more comfortable: drinking that wine, settling back in his chair, posture ebbing into less stiff lines. He’d come here with the very specific intent to make Cosima put down the paperwork for once, but as so often happens, he keeps drifting to conversations which aren’t work talk but are also not not work talk. And the wine’s loosened just enough that that pings a previous thought against another, now reminded of the modern corporate trappings that only these two are familiar with. Cosima is technically his boss. He did have a question, a little while back.
“Hey, uh,” Stephen says, thoughtful, ruminative. “So. I don’t really know how this works here. Hypothetically, I mean, considering how small Riftwatch is, and— is there a—”
What is he even trying to say. He takes another swig of the wine.
“Potential conflicts of interest. Conflict of interest disclosures to our division head. For, I don’t know. Relationships? So we don’t fuck up anything on a mission? Is that a thing here. Do people need to do that.”
Is this anything.
When specifically asked, yes. I'd work on the assumption that she isn't going to volunteer anything and be precise and detailed in conversation.
( in fact, she did work on that assumption, and pressed it specifically because she wanted to know—
maybe for different reasons than cosima would have done, but it's not as if either option was going to make her happy. one way she was selfish, the other, punished needlessly. )
( in fact, she did work on that assumption, and pressed it specifically because she wanted to know—
maybe for different reasons than cosima would have done, but it's not as if either option was going to make her happy. one way she was selfish, the other, punished needlessly. )
( gwenaëlle had been close to casimir. she had met him as a tranquil; as a man who had been tranquil for years by the time they met. their friendship had grown from that meeting, not some seed planted before or after, and it's disconcerting to compare the experiences,
she's trying not to. it's almost impossible. )
For you, ( she decides, ) it matters. It's— complicated now, for her. I don't know what rationale she's using to judge anything by, yet. She will have one, it's not—
She's still a person. She's still Herian. She's disconnected from a part of herself, not gone. ( it's important to say that out loud. it's always important to say that out loud, she thinks, no matter who it is,
which is the difference between who she is now and who herian remembers, but that's another conversation entirely. )
Tranquil don't feel but they aren't any stupider than they were in the first place. They might not feel any particular way about disrespect or callousness, but they understand and recognise it. Use respect as a framework and be mindful of your own feelings. Yours being forceful will just make things complicated for her. It's easier to engage with Tranquil if you can do it calmly and directly.
she's trying not to. it's almost impossible. )
For you, ( she decides, ) it matters. It's— complicated now, for her. I don't know what rationale she's using to judge anything by, yet. She will have one, it's not—
She's still a person. She's still Herian. She's disconnected from a part of herself, not gone. ( it's important to say that out loud. it's always important to say that out loud, she thinks, no matter who it is,
which is the difference between who she is now and who herian remembers, but that's another conversation entirely. )
Tranquil don't feel but they aren't any stupider than they were in the first place. They might not feel any particular way about disrespect or callousness, but they understand and recognise it. Use respect as a framework and be mindful of your own feelings. Yours being forceful will just make things complicated for her. It's easier to engage with Tranquil if you can do it calmly and directly.
“I mean,” hedging, help, Stephen is so bad at this, “it does sort of affect my ability to prioritise. Of course I try to be professional, but in the field and given the choice between rescuing Tiny Tim or someone I’m— fond of— then I’m afraid my decision-making will be somewhat compromised.”
Of course, having attachments at all, romantic or platonic or otherwise, is perfectly normal, but it still takes a moment of readjustment for him sometimes. Layering the interpersonal atop that otherwise cold crisp professional facade. Having to contend with the fact that he’s putting down roots more and more, officially digging his heels into Thedas and accepting that this is his life now.
(This, too, is why Stephen had considered broaching it with Cosima specifically. He knows she’s been here before: a fellow rifter daring to commit to someone from Thedas, bridging that existential divide.)
Of course, having attachments at all, romantic or platonic or otherwise, is perfectly normal, but it still takes a moment of readjustment for him sometimes. Layering the interpersonal atop that otherwise cold crisp professional facade. Having to contend with the fact that he’s putting down roots more and more, officially digging his heels into Thedas and accepting that this is his life now.
(This, too, is why Stephen had considered broaching it with Cosima specifically. He knows she’s been here before: a fellow rifter daring to commit to someone from Thedas, bridging that existential divide.)
Edited 2024-06-04 01:11 (UTC)
Cosima lays out all those various examples, including the ones he didn’t know about (Yseult is a walking mystery), and it’s all very reasonable and sensible and it dislodges a laugh from him. “Okay. Yeah. You make a good point.”
As a friend, Stephen thinks, and he looks at the familiar surroundings of the Provost’s office (slightly changed, rearranged, stamps of Cosima’s habits and affectations placed on it since she took up residence). This feels a little easier somehow than if it were Tony surveying him over that glass of wine, and he can’t even really put his finger on why. Maybe he was too-aware of Tony Stark as industry figure, face from the headlines, martyred hero, blood on Stephen’s hands.
He unconsciously mirrors her, taking another sip of wine. There’s some squirming flutter in his chest, and it takes him a moment to identify it, like diagnosing a terribly annoying symptom. Butterflies. Forty fucking years and his stomach still swoops at the prospect of saying it out loud, making it real outside of the private spaces he’d carved out for said person.
“Not that I’m trying to keep it secret or anything, in fact I’m trying to do the exact opposite, very clumsily, but— well, even if I were being cagey, it’s going to be the worst-kept secret soon regardless, considering I’m crashing at her place after my room blew up. It’s Gwenaëlle. Baudin.”
He doesn’t need the precision — as if there’s any other Gwenaëlle at the Gallows — but he’s precise regardless.
As a friend, Stephen thinks, and he looks at the familiar surroundings of the Provost’s office (slightly changed, rearranged, stamps of Cosima’s habits and affectations placed on it since she took up residence). This feels a little easier somehow than if it were Tony surveying him over that glass of wine, and he can’t even really put his finger on why. Maybe he was too-aware of Tony Stark as industry figure, face from the headlines, martyred hero, blood on Stephen’s hands.
He unconsciously mirrors her, taking another sip of wine. There’s some squirming flutter in his chest, and it takes him a moment to identify it, like diagnosing a terribly annoying symptom. Butterflies. Forty fucking years and his stomach still swoops at the prospect of saying it out loud, making it real outside of the private spaces he’d carved out for said person.
“Not that I’m trying to keep it secret or anything, in fact I’m trying to do the exact opposite, very clumsily, but— well, even if I were being cagey, it’s going to be the worst-kept secret soon regardless, considering I’m crashing at her place after my room blew up. It’s Gwenaëlle. Baudin.”
He doesn’t need the precision — as if there’s any other Gwenaëlle at the Gallows — but he’s precise regardless.
( delivered only a short while after Herian has been treated and patched up, and also apparently bamboozled the good sir into doubling as a mail carrier )
Provost Niehaus,
There is no good way to re-introduce myself, and a letter risks being dismissive or callous by nature of all that it is not.
Mme. Baudin will have advised you of my arrival and Tranquility.
I do not wish to cause you any distress, even as its avoidance may be an impossibility. My presence and Tranquility both hold inherent potential to do harm.
Foolish as it would be to claim to know your feelings on my abrupt arrival hence, a great ignorance of your character would be required to consider that my Tranquility might leave you unmoved.
With that in mind and the knowledge of our history, please know that while visitation and communication are welcome, no obligation rests upon you. Your well-being should be prioritised, and should the prospect of seeing me be too great a distress, I will endeavour to be as avoidable as possible.
I cannot sincerely give you the apology that is rightfully yours, in this moment.
In service,
Herian
Provost Niehaus,
There is no good way to re-introduce myself, and a letter risks being dismissive or callous by nature of all that it is not.
Mme. Baudin will have advised you of my arrival and Tranquility.
I do not wish to cause you any distress, even as its avoidance may be an impossibility. My presence and Tranquility both hold inherent potential to do harm.
Foolish as it would be to claim to know your feelings on my abrupt arrival hence, a great ignorance of your character would be required to consider that my Tranquility might leave you unmoved.
With that in mind and the knowledge of our history, please know that while visitation and communication are welcome, no obligation rests upon you. Your well-being should be prioritised, and should the prospect of seeing me be too great a distress, I will endeavour to be as avoidable as possible.
I cannot sincerely give you the apology that is rightfully yours, in this moment.
In service,
Herian
Edited (the means of delivery, ooh, exciting ) 2024-06-06 07:56 (UTC)
There’s a softening in his expression, a warmth in his smile that few people get to see: “She is remarkable, isn’t she?”
Which isn’t only about how hot his girlfriend is. He drums his fingers against the edge of his wineglass, glass in turn propped against his knee, boot bouncing restlessly against the box it’s resting on. Casual, a friend, not a colleague.
“I’m not… good at opening up, but I did want to tell you. You’re the first person I’ve outright told. Not just because you’re Provost, but— as a friend, and I thought you might be able to relate, a rifter choosing to still try to make it work with someone from here. Despite the culture-shock, the risks, the complications. Sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that this is making her care for a ghost, and I don’t want to put her through my evaporating into the ether one day without warning, but she rather wisely reminded me that we can lose anyone unexpectedly at any time, not just rifters, so.”
So, carpe diem.
Stephen tilts his glass of wine, examining it rather than meet Cosima’s eye just yet. How did they get to know each other? It had been a slow tectonic shift underfoot, a year and a half in the making; he hadn’t noted the change until he’d eventually looked up one day and realised he was standing on another continent. He’s quiet for a moment, sorting through his words before he tries to put them into order:
“We spoke, a lot. She’s blunt, which I like, but she’s also helpful. She showed me around Hightown when I was brand-new and trying to get my bearings in Kirkwall’s various neighbourhoods. She let me take a look at her magic bow, because I’m always interested in arcane artifacts. She let me read through eight years’ worth of notes on her anchor, because of course I want to know about anchors. She started coming by the infirmary. I’m incorrigibly curious about Thedas, and she answered every question I ever asked her without bullshitting me, and then I think that just— led to being curious about the woman, herself, and I eventually wanted to know everything about her, and, well, it turns out that sort of meant something.”
And then, because at the end of the day the doctor is still a little allergic to sincerity, he adds, “And the enchanted bathtub on the houseboat is a perk.“
Which isn’t only about how hot his girlfriend is. He drums his fingers against the edge of his wineglass, glass in turn propped against his knee, boot bouncing restlessly against the box it’s resting on. Casual, a friend, not a colleague.
“I’m not… good at opening up, but I did want to tell you. You’re the first person I’ve outright told. Not just because you’re Provost, but— as a friend, and I thought you might be able to relate, a rifter choosing to still try to make it work with someone from here. Despite the culture-shock, the risks, the complications. Sometimes I can’t shake the feeling that this is making her care for a ghost, and I don’t want to put her through my evaporating into the ether one day without warning, but she rather wisely reminded me that we can lose anyone unexpectedly at any time, not just rifters, so.”
So, carpe diem.
Stephen tilts his glass of wine, examining it rather than meet Cosima’s eye just yet. How did they get to know each other? It had been a slow tectonic shift underfoot, a year and a half in the making; he hadn’t noted the change until he’d eventually looked up one day and realised he was standing on another continent. He’s quiet for a moment, sorting through his words before he tries to put them into order:
“We spoke, a lot. She’s blunt, which I like, but she’s also helpful. She showed me around Hightown when I was brand-new and trying to get my bearings in Kirkwall’s various neighbourhoods. She let me take a look at her magic bow, because I’m always interested in arcane artifacts. She let me read through eight years’ worth of notes on her anchor, because of course I want to know about anchors. She started coming by the infirmary. I’m incorrigibly curious about Thedas, and she answered every question I ever asked her without bullshitting me, and then I think that just— led to being curious about the woman, herself, and I eventually wanted to know everything about her, and, well, it turns out that sort of meant something.”
And then, because at the end of the day the doctor is still a little allergic to sincerity, he adds, “And the enchanted bathtub on the houseboat is a perk.“
Even this more recent attack, with its list of dead in the Inquisition even if the names had been lost on him. Casimir, Alistair, Cullen, Pentaghast. And, of course, Granitefell.
“Still worth trying. And if all else fails, get yourself a partner who can rewind time and fix it for you,” Stephen says, his voice lighter, not touching on the full weight of it. It had been a group effort, of course, but he still lets himself joke, like testing to see if the ice will hold underfoot.
How many months has it been since Granitefell? He hadn’t even been fully aware of his feelings at the time yet, except that raw wound and the awareness of a door being slammed shut on the possibility; and it had seemed a tremendous shame for the entire world to suddenly have a blank spot in the exact shape of Gwenaëlle Baudin’s wit and humour and stubborn bloodyminded persistence to do her best. Thedas deserved to keep that. He had been determined to let Thedas have that back.
So the houseboat is indeed a safer topic, like skipping a rock over still lake waters: “You what? You did not mention. If you wanted to relocate to Kirkwall waters, maybe Gwenaëlle knows a guy who knows a guy who’d sell you one. Considering…”
He gestures to the office, now doing half-duty as Cosima’s occasional sleeping space.
“Still worth trying. And if all else fails, get yourself a partner who can rewind time and fix it for you,” Stephen says, his voice lighter, not touching on the full weight of it. It had been a group effort, of course, but he still lets himself joke, like testing to see if the ice will hold underfoot.
How many months has it been since Granitefell? He hadn’t even been fully aware of his feelings at the time yet, except that raw wound and the awareness of a door being slammed shut on the possibility; and it had seemed a tremendous shame for the entire world to suddenly have a blank spot in the exact shape of Gwenaëlle Baudin’s wit and humour and stubborn bloodyminded persistence to do her best. Thedas deserved to keep that. He had been determined to let Thedas have that back.
So the houseboat is indeed a safer topic, like skipping a rock over still lake waters: “You what? You did not mention. If you wanted to relocate to Kirkwall waters, maybe Gwenaëlle knows a guy who knows a guy who’d sell you one. Considering…”
He gestures to the office, now doing half-duty as Cosima’s occasional sleeping space.
(Gela's not counting, don't worry. She's fiddling with something that she awkwardly hides behind her back the moment Cosima comes into view; she gives her a brief hug in greeting with one arm.)
Hello. How are you? (Gela is obviously feeling much better. She's made a full physical recovery from the demon attack, at least.)
Hello. How are you? (Gela is obviously feeling much better. She's made a full physical recovery from the demon attack, at least.)
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